With the holiday of Valentine’s Day happening right now, everyone that has a girl in real life or in the cyber world will be spending their quality time of faithful partnership and beautiful harmony. Monogamy is considered the norm across all plateaus of human society. Even with the case of “2D Relationships”, there’s this need to be “pure” or “faithful” to one partner in particular to nourish and love with all you heart. But when push comes to shove, why not just love multiple women equally rather than one? Many will cry foul and be willing to call heretic on me, but they will never understand the fact that love is truly a cruel mistress, literally and figuratively, that one cannot begin to grasp. So with this in mind, I shall give you my Harem of wonderfully beautiful and faithful wives that have touched a place in my heart that many female characters have not.
The Demon Mistress – Rias Gremory
More mature women with well-proportioned breasts really aren’t my thing because the breasts are just all what they are and nothing in-between. Rias-senpai is one of the exceptions of this rule by the fact that she’s not just this upstanding lady who has no flaws, but she gets jealous and actually has a deep caring personality for people who are close to her. Plus she gives spankings to people who have been naughty, hence why she’s the “mistress” of the harem, but man is it worth it to submit to her wonderful spankings!
The Nymphomaniacs – Ako and Riko Suminoe
After a while, my heart was only for Ako-nee-chan. But as I’ve watched over the past episodes that have come along, I realized that you can never truly have one without the other. These two just work each other so well in their “ladylike” ways of wanting pleasure for someone they truly love and nurture. Not only that, but they are one of the few anime girls who’s designs are so sexy that they sort of transcend away from typical moe trope and become on-par with real girl bodies. It’s purely sublime, no bones about it, except my bone’s always ready for them.
The Imouto – Mikan Yuuki
Incest may be looked down upon by many, but for the sheer fantasy of what anime can do, how can you not fall for your cute little sister? Mikan is one of the best little sisters that anyone of us could have that isn’t annoying in the slightest. Ako and Riko might be the obvious choice for a lot of people for sisters that we’d wish we had but Mikan is all-around perfect for anything besides a good “lewd” time.
The Dere-Dere – Tohka Yatogami-chan
I wouldn’t be lying in saying that I think Dere-Dere girls are superior to tsundere, and if there’s one that I truly adore it would be Tohka-chan. As I’ve said before in my Cute Girls of 2013 list, Tohka-chan is so cute that I can never type her name without the chan near the end. It’s definitely the beautiful high-pitched voice of Marina Inoue that makes her personality even more alluringly adorable. The fact that she’s the type of girl who loves to eat food and doesn’t care about her weight makes her a girl to truly admire.
The Yandere – Aragaki Ayase
I wouldn’t care if this dangerous girl kills me in her sleep, as long as it involves anything lewd she can rock my world any day. Ayase is one special yandere that tops all other ones in that you can actually live with her and there’s a bigger chance you’ll be alive the next day. Not to mention she has the booty and spunk to prove her worth of being more than just the adorable craziness.
The Tsundere Loli – Nymph-chan
Nymph-chan’s petite body is what makes lolis like her even more gorgeous than just being a cute loli, but more on that on the next wife. She’s definitely one of the cutest tsunderes in existence and I defy anyone who says otherwise. Her cute and beautiful voice shows her unconventional faithfulness to her “master.” Chains and whips are what get her on edge, which you could probably tell what makes her another closeted perv from how she thought Tomoki wanted to do to her in multiple scenarios. No man on earth would ever not want her to call him a “bug” while slapping or kicking him senselessly.
The Kuudere Loli – Koneko-chan
Normally I don’t care for Kuudere girls because most of them come across as really bland and lifeless, which I know is the point but still. However, Koneko-chan could rock my socks out with her absolutely adorable figure, that is really sexy at the same time of her size. Both are hard to match out equally and with great quality, but her well-drawn figure and adorable attempts at lashing out pervs like me, I wouldn’t mind getting kicked with her cute feet and powers for as long as I live. There is also a part in the novel where she actually does get more emotive. When that happens in Season 3, I don’t think I’ll even survive at that point.
The Loli – Tomoka Minato
This is probably the only wife to where there are no “lewd” connections whatsoever due to her young age, but that doesn’t stop the constant cuddling and massages that I give for Tomoka-chan. Her absolute kindness to everyone around her would leave any man on the edge of pure ecstasy to realize that why can’t more girls be like Tomoka. An athlete at heart, you can guarantee that she already has the pure muscles to ensure she’ll grow up to have a wonderful body sometime in her young adult life.
The Childhood Crush – Haruna Sairenji
Haruna’s very kind and patient personality might be similar to why I loved Tomoka, besides the age difference, but I had an attachment to Haruna-chan differently in the sense that Haruna secret crush to Rito feels more apparent due to her very forgiving nature. Whenever you accidentally do a perverted antic on her, she’ll understand completely that it was an accident and forgives you. Though she will kick you at first because of the heat of the moment, but hey, who wouldn’t want to be kicked by a girl as beautiful as her?
The Neko and Inu – Tsukiko Tsutsukakushi and Azuki Azusa
I can’t possibly choose one over the other, simply because these two embody each other perfectly into one glorious package. Both polar opposites to their personality, with Tsukiko with her unemotional/calm demeanor and Azusa with her eccentric/energetic nature. These represent the kitten and puppy in how you usually see both of these pets act in a certain way. Azusa, with her absolutely heart inducing tsundere-ness and her angelic voice, is the way I like my favorite tsundere characters to be like. Tsukiko is in no short of pure cuteness and with her delicious flat chested glory, along with Azusa, there’s simply hardly any lolis that can touch her.
The Upstanding Tsundere – Haqua du lot Herminium
A rather odd choice that many will notice, Haqua isn’t just my wife because of Saori Hayami-chan’s voice, but because she has a shy nature to her despite the fact that she seems to be more professional than say Elsie. Sort of similar to why Rias is in the harem, that certain professional aura guarantees her intelligent nature while at the same time is always prone to clumsiness here and there, which is extremely cute whenever it happens.
The Cunning Intellect – Holo
What’s there more to say? The fact that she’s a beautiful wolf girl just screams cuteness. Holo’s vast charisma and realism to her personality makes her even special out of the rest of the harem. Whenever you need some relaxation and cuddle with someone who has a soft bushy tail, Holo is there to achieve that dream. Oh, and Ami Koshimizu voice, because there’s no one out there who would dare speak ill-will of her talent.
The Werewolf – Liru
Though technically Holo is also a wolf, Liru is more a werewolf type than her in many respects. Likewise, she also has a great sense of humor and is fun to be around with. Amazing body that is great to look at and snuggle with to bed.
The Badass – Ryuuko Matoi
This was actually really recently when I put her on the harem list, Ryuuko Matoi struck a chord on me not just from her badass demeanor throughout Kill La Kill but from her surprisingly kind nature to most people who are close to her. Her strong courage and bravery just speaks to me on a more personal level than most people and, of course, her sexy outfit to help her fight her own battles helps to her beauty. But what really makes her lewd archetype in the show more human than anything else is the fact that the outfit becomes a part of her that she is in control and becomes an upstanding woman with the outfit rather than just some generic female with a sexy outfit that puts her down.
The Ebony – Nadia
Before people jump on me that I’m racist because I don’t put any girl that’s not white, Nadia pretty much seduced me from the get go. Same way I was allured by Amy-chan’s beauty, sweetness, and body, Nadia is…..pretty much a lot like her in a lot of ways. In fact, I seem to have a huge infatuation with tomboy girls in pacific islander clothing, like Kid in Chrono Cross. Nevertheless, her heroism and strong-natured character brought me to my knees and begged for Gainax to make a reboot to see her blossom with updated animation!
The Samurai – Togame
If you don’t find Togame cute in the slightest, please seek help immediately and re-evaluate your life. With her adorable voice and cute petite body, I can’t seem to find any flaw to her in any way whatsoever. Now if only she found someone besides the dummy sidekick of her.
The Blonde Beauty – Sena Kashiwazaki
Is there really anything more to Sena than just a beautiful blonde girl with big breasts that most people seem to think? The answer is quite simply yes, and no. There’s absolutely nothing wrong for falling for a girl for just her looks, but that’s not the only thing for me to love Sena. What many don’t seem to realize about Sena is the fact that she has a more intelligent frame of mind than most girls of her similar demeanor by the fact that she’s intelligent in her studies and certainly knows how to put on the most delicious bikini in all of anime, more so than most real swimsuit models these days.
The Harem Coordinator – Momo Belia Deviluke
Oh Momo, there has to be a rulebook in ecchi show writing that states that every show of the genre needs to have more female characters like yourself. I think what really drove me into loving Momo more is the fact that she has this alluring libido going on within her, yet she still has the courage to put it all out on one person that she absolutely loves. She’s what you would call the “talent coordinator” of the harem where she handles how the harem is structured and makes sure that I’m taken care of in bed.
The Guardian Angel – Ikaros-chan
For every harem, there has to be that one wife that will guarantee you protection from anything or one that threatens your life and Ikaros-chan is probably the best girl to fit that role perfectly. It’s not just her supple breasts and gorgeous figure that attracted me to Ikaros-chan in the first place, it’s the fact that she’s inherently like a child at heart because of her less than dynamic personality yet she still cares for people with all of her aching soul. That is definitely something that cannot be matched by even most of the girls in my harem, but that doesn’t mean they can’t try to match Ikaros-chan.
The Princess – Amy
Adorable, sexy, and all-around caring, Amy is the epitome of everything that makes a girl the perfect partner. She how to shake that booty of hers in that sexy dancing outfit for her man when he is starving for her body. Not to mention her way of going through the world around her with ease and without breaking a sweat makes her agile and competent to be with considering they are the aspects of a strong-willed girl. Loves to wear her sexy bikini out for a swim and isn’t afraid to show it for her husbando.
The Goddess – Hestia-chan
A Greek Goddess isn’t just an anecdotal term to describe the absolute perfection of Hestia-chan. It’s also because, well, she is one! Turn an ancient Greek Goddess into a delicious petite bodied loli and you have yourself the perfect 2D wife that any man wouldn’t dare pass off. With her absolutely gorgeous outfit that compliments her sexy figure very well and shows her voluptuous thighs bare naked, it would be criminal to not have at least smacked that booty once a day~ <3
The Queen – Naoto Shirogane
Many might be surprised that Naoto is the Queen of the harem despite that Amy and Hestia-chan seem to be on the top spot on my list, but the main reason Naoto is and always will be the first one to have me influence the feeling that even 2D girls can have an emotional impact on someone. It’s the type of feeling that I get when I realize that I hope a girl like Naoto exists in the world and what makes it even more telling is how realistic her intentions and emotions are in the game itself. Her tomboyish looks are what got me into tomboys in the first place and short-haired girls in general. Naoto also falls into the category of looking professional and intelligent but when things get into the heat of the moment she gets really shy and almost scared when she has sexual attraction within her body. It’s the pure definition of girls like Naoto that are more needed at her age, but with the amount of pure naïve teenagers out there in the world, one could only hope.
So there you have it, please feel free to call me a lewd unfaithful person because I have multiple wives on the comments below and if you think that I’m one of those people who thinks 2D girls are real and that I’m someone who never talks to a single girl from a 5 foot radius, pls.