All I wanted was a fun fanservice anime to help embellish my ecchi bone like I am always known to do. Is this too much to ask for? Is it hard to make a fanservice anime that is actually fun? Unfortunately yes. I don’t deny the tough task of trying to make a fun anime that can please many people. However, when it is plainly obvious that the writers did not give this thing the time of day that it desperately needed from how it is presented, there is no excuse to justify laziness of this magnitude.
From the beginning, I thought Triage X started out with some decent, albeit typical, layout of the characters and story as this secret organization based on a hospital staff of girls. Fanservice was quite voluptuous with decent looking art designs on the girls as well as the guys, with an interesting shot of a nude guy’s butt interestingly enough. Then I watched episode two. Same thoughts by the end of it, even though the plot arc was kinda forgettable. Finally I got to episode three, and by the time I was halfway through it, I thought to myself, “Is this just episode one and two over again?” Not in the sense that it was literally like the previous episodes, but the fact that all of the episodes have a similar structure: Black Label helps with this situation involving kidnappings of partially naked ladies or other terrorist antics. That’s pretty much it. Sometimes these arcs feel as though they were an afterthought and that we are supposed to forget about them by the next episode.
Now this wouldn’t be too bad based on how there are anime that are episodic in nature. But unfortunately, with the case of Triage X, it is, what I would call, a soulless anime. All of the characters have absolutely nothing to them that makes them even the slightest bit interesting or gripping. I came to this conclusion based on how predictable and formulaic they come across; if you’ve seen most seinen-type action anime, Triage X is about as typical as you can get from the genre. Not only that, but the writers don’t even try to give me a minute to let me get to know any of them to help me differentiate between each character. Because of this, I couldn’t really pinpoint a specific character trait that makes any of them unique. All they have going for them is that they are just characters to move the plot along, or lack thereof. This is never a good sign when you are trying to get to know any character in an anime.
There is even one scene where the girls have a spring bath scene together, because of course there has to be one, and converse about miscellaneous topics and events. The problem is that it is in the last episode when we barely even had time to get to know any of them to care. Of course, this problem of vapid characterization seem minor on the female cast compared to the main hero, Arashi Mikami. It’s not just the bland characterization that makes Arashi so bad, but also his poor charisma and personality. I would say that Arashi has the personality of a wooden board or brick but I think those examples would be too generous when describing. At the very least he has the audacity to admit that “nothing was resolved” near the end of the show to ensure that it was a mess from the start.
This poor characterization also comes down to just how incredibly poor the writing is. Not just that the dialogue itself is painstakingly awful, but just how stilted and awkward the voice actors portrayed it. Any character dialogue between each other felt very flat to the point where I almost felt like I was watching a hentai conversation taking place. That might seem ironic considering this is an ecchi anime, but there are a lot of ecchi anime that do conversations, even at the level of Triage X’s caliber, decent enough to be passable. The majority of the dialogue consists of constant exposition and predictable one-liners.
With Triage X being an action/ecchi hybrid, clearly you would think that they would balance the two genres accordingly, right? Well, that doesn’t seem to be the case since they are both executed with minimal efficiency. Action being the majority of what Triage X has going for it, it is by far the most lackluster I have seen in a while. This coincides with the criticism of the animation, which is sub-par at its best. Action sequences, at times, feel more finicky and less fluid because of this problem. Not to mention the amount of corners they cut that made the action such a jarring experience. There are even action scenes where the action felt incredibly rushed, to the point where it was already over before I had the chance to even start getting into it. By the time the fifth action sequence emerged, I started to lose interest to even try to enjoy the action.
Fanservice is usually the selling point to anime like Triage X. However, I was surprised and disappointed how little fanservice there was. And even when these fanservice moments happened, they were not super special to even watch the uncensored version for. In fact, if you just watch the uncensored version just to see some nipples and ass, I guarantee that almost all that time would amount to about five or six minutes, at most. I don’t count the ones that are involved in action sequences only because they mostly serve the action than the fanservice. Whatever how many panty shots, beach scenes, skimpy outfits, and boobs Triage X has going for it, they do not leave a lasting impression from how dry the animation direction is. This is especially even more surprising since this is the same studio that brought us Highschool of the Dead. While not a great show by any measure, at least had some semblance of a budget going for it. When your ED is literally just a girl riding on a motorcycle from point A to point B with her boobs slightly bouncing for no reason, no amount of budget could save laziness of that magnitude.
I know this seems too big of a review for me to convince anyone that Triage X is bad, but it’s not just because it is bad. It is because it is the worst anime I’ve ever had the audacity to sit through. I was not angry during. I was not incredibly disappointed. I was just bewildered by how something this bad could ever be approved to go on air. Dropping this could not be done by me as I wanted to continue watching this to see if it could get any worse than before. The truth of the matter was: It didn’t get any worse or better because it was already at the lowest point of quality anyway.